Twilight - Chapter 20

Impatience

When I woke up I was confused. My thoughts were hazy, still twisted up in
dreams and nightmares; it took me longer than it should have to realize
where I was.

This room was too bland to belong anywhere but in a hotel. The bedside
lamps, bolted to the tables, were a dead giveaway, as were the long
drapes made from the same fabric as the bedspread, and the generic
watercolor prints on the walls.

I tried to remember how I got here, but nothing came at first.

I did remember the sleek black car, the glass in the windows darker than
that on a limousine. The engine was almost silent, though we'd raced
across the black freeways at more than twice the legal speed.

And I remembered Alice sitting with me on the dark leather backseat.
Somehow, during the long night, my head had ended up against her granite
neck. My closeness didn't seem to bother her at all, and her cool, hard
skin was oddly comforting to me. The front of her thin cotton shirt was
cold, damp with the tears that streamed from my eyes until, red and sore,
they ran dry.

Sleep had evaded me; my aching eyes strained open even though the night
finally ended and dawn broke over a low peak somewhere in California. The
gray light, streaking across the cloudless sky, stung my eyes. But I
couldn't close them; when I did, the images that flashed all too vividly,
like still slides behind my lids, were unbearable. Charlie's broken
expression ? Edward's brutal snarl, teeth bared ? Rosalie's resentful
glare ? the keen-eyed scrutiny of the tracker ? the dead look in Edward's
eyes after he kissed me the last time? I couldn't stand to see them. So I
fought against my weariness and the sun rose higher.

I was still awake when we came through a shallow mountain pass and the
sun, behind us now, reflected off the tiled rooftops of the Valley of the
Sun. I didn't have enough emotion left to be surprised that we'd made a
three-day journey in one. I stared blankly at the wide, flat expanse laid
out in front of me. Phoenix ? the palm trees, the scrubby creosote, the
haphazard lines of the intersecting freeways, the green swaths of golf
courses and turquoise splotches of swimming pools, all submerged in a
thin smog and embraced by the short, rocky ridges that weren't really big
enough to be called mountains.

The shadows of the palm trees slanted across the freeway ? defined,
sharper than I remembered, paler than they should be. Nothing could hide
in these shadows. The bright, open freeway seemed benign enough. But I
felt no relief, no sense of homecoming.

"Which way to the airport, Bella?" Jasper had asked, and I flinched,
though his voice was quite soft and un-alarming. It was the first sound,
besides the purr of the car, to break the long night's silence.

"Stay on the I-ten," I'd answered automatically. "We'll pass right by it."

My brain had worked slowly through the fog of sleep deprivation.

"Are we flying somewhere?" I'd asked Alice.

"No, but it's better to be close, just in case."

I remembered beginning the loop around Sky Harbor International? but not
ending it. I suppose that must have been when I'd fallen asleep.

Though, now that I'd chased the memories down, I did have a vague
impression of leaving the car ? the sun was just falling behind the
horizon ? my arm draped over Alice's shoulder and her arm firm around my
waist, dragging me along as I stumbled through the warm, dry shadows.

I had no memory of this room.

I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. The red numbers claimed
it was three o'clock, but they gave no indication if it was night or day.
No edge of light escaped the thick curtains, but the room was bright with
the light from the lamps.

I rose stiffly and staggered to the window, pulling back the drapes.

It was dark outside. Three in the morning, then. My room looked out on a
deserted section of the freeway and the new long-term parking garage for
the airport. It was slightly comforting to be able to pinpoint time and
place.

I looked down at myself. I was still wearing Esme's clothes, and they
didn't fit very well at all. I looked around the room, glad when I
discovered my duffel bag on top of the low dresser.

I was on my way to find new clothes when a light tap on the door made me
jump.

"Can I come in?" Alice asked.

I took a deep breath. "Sure."

She walked in, and looked me over cautiously. "You look like you could
sleep longer," she said.

I just shook my head.

She drifted silently to the curtains and closed them securely before
turning back to me.

"We'll need to stay inside," she told me.

"Okay." My voice was hoarse; it cracked.

"Thirsty?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm okay. How about you?"

"Nothing unmanageable." She smiled. "I ordered some food for you, it's in
the front room. Edward reminded me that you have to eat a lot more
frequently than we do."

I was instantly more alert. "He called?"

"No," she said, and watched as my face fell. "It was before we left."

She took my hand carefully and led me through the door into the living
room of the hotel suite. I could hear a low buzz of voices coming from
the TV. Jasper sat motionlessly at the desk in the corner, his eyes
watching the news with no glimmer of interest.

I sat on the floor next to the coffee table, where a tray of food waited,
and began picking at it without noticing what I was eating.

Alice perched on the arm of the sofa and stared blankly at the TV like
Jasper.

I ate slowly, watching her, turning now and then to glance quickly at
Jasper. It began to dawn on me that they were too still. They never
looked away from the screen, though commercials were playing now. I
pushed the tray away, my stomach abruptly uneasy. Alice looked down at me.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong." Her eyes were wide, honest? and I didn't trust them.

"What do we do now?"

"We wait for Carlisle to call."

"And should he have called by now?" I could see that I was near the mark.
Alice's eyes flitted from mine to the phone on top of her leather bag and
back.

"What does that mean?" My voice quavered, and I fought to control it.
"That he hasn't called yet?"

"It just means that they don't have anything to tell us."

But her voice was too even, and the air was harder to breathe.

Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual.

"Bella," he said in a suspiciously soothing voice. "You have nothing to
worry about. You are completely safe here."

"I know that."

"Then why are you frightened?" he asked, confused. He might feel the
tenor of my emotions, but he couldn't read the reasons behind them.

"You heard what Laurent said." My voice was just a whisper, but I was
sure they could hear me. "He said James was lethal. What if something
goes wrong, and they get separated? If something happens to any of them,
Carlisle, Emmett? Edward?" I gulped. "If that wild female hurts Esme?" My
voice had grown higher, a note of hysteria beginning to rise in it. "How
could I live with myself when it's my fault? None of you should be
risking yourselves for me ?"

"Bella, Bella, stop," he interrupted me, his words pouring out so quickly
they were hard to understand. "You're worrying about all the wrong
things, Bella. Trust me on this ? none of us are in jeopardy. You are
under too much strain as it is; don't add to it with wholly unnecessary
worries. Listen to me!" he ordered, for I had looked away. "Our family is
strong. Our only fear is losing you."

"But why should you ?"

Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers.
"It's been almost a century that Edward's been alone. Now he's found you.
You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so
long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next
hundred years if he loses you?"

My guilt slowly subsided as I looked into her dark eyes. But, even as the
calm spread over me, I knew I couldn't trust my feelings with Jasper
there.

It was a very long day.

We stayed in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them
to ignore our maid service for now. The windows stayed shut, the TV on,
though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was delivered for
me. The silver phone resting on Alice's bag seemed to grow bigger as the
hours passed.

My babysitters handled the suspense better than I did. As I fidgeted and
paced, they simply grew more still, two statues whose eyes followed me
imperceptibly as I moved. I occupied myself with memorizing the room; the
striped pattern of the couches, tan, peach, cream, dull gold, and tan
again. Sometimes I stared at the abstract prints, randomly finding
pictures in the shapes, like I'd found pictures in the clouds as a child.
I traced a blue hand, a woman combing her hair, a cat stretching. But
when the pale red circle became a staring eye, I looked away.

As the afternoon wore on, I went back to bed, simply for something to do.
I hoped that by myself in the dark, I could give in to the terrible fears
that hovered on the edge of my consciousness, unable to break through
under Jasper's careful supervision.

But Alice followed me casually, as if by some coincidence she had grown
tired of the front room at the same time. I was beginning to wonder
exactly what sort of instructions Edward had given her. I lay across the
bed, and she sat, legs folded, next to me. I ignored her at first,
suddenly tired enough to sleep. But after a few minutes, the panic that
had held off in Jasper's presence began to make itself known. I gave up
on the idea of sleep quickly then, curling up into a small ball, wrapping
my arms around my legs.

"Alice?" I asked.

"Yes?"

I kept my voice very calm. "What do you think they're doing?"

"Carlisle wanted to lead the tracker as far north as possible, wait for
him to get close, and then turn and ambush him. Esme and Rosalie were
supposed to head west as long as they could keep the female behind them.
If she turned around, they were to head back to Forks and keep an eye on
your dad. So I imagine things are going well if they can't call. It means
the tracker is close enough that they don't want him to overhear."

"And Esme?"

"I think she must be back in Forks. She won't call if there's any chance
the female will overhear. I expect they're all just being very careful."

"Do you think they're safe, really?"

"Bella, how many times do we have to tell you that there's no danger to
us?"

"Would you tell me the truth, though?"

"Yes. I will always tell you the truth." Her voice was earnest.

I deliberated for a moment, and decided she meant it.

"Tell me then? how do you become a vampire?"

My question caught her off guard. She was quiet. I rolled over to look at
her, and her expression seemed ambivalent.

"Edward doesn't want me to tell you that," she said firmly, but I sensed
she didn't agree.

"That's not fair. I think I have a right to know."

"I know."

I looked at her, waiting.

She sighed. "He'll be extremely angry."

"It's none of his business. This is between you and me. Alice, as a
friend, I'm begging you." And we were friends now, somehow ? as she must
have known we would be all along.

She looked at me with her splendid, wise eyes? choosing.

"I'll tell you the mechanics of it," she said finally, "but I don't
remember it myself, and I've never done it or seen it done, so keep in
mind that I can only tell you the theory."

I waited.

"As predators, we have a glut of weapons in our physical arsenal ? much,
much more than really necessary. The strength, the speed, the acute
senses, not to mention those of us like Edward, Jasper, and I, who have
extra senses as well. And then, like a carnivorous flower, we are
physically attractive to our prey."

I was very still, remembering how pointedly Edward had demonstrated the
same concept for me in the meadow.

She smiled a wide, ominous smile. "We have another fairly superfluous
weapon. We're also venomous," she said, her teeth glistening. "The venom
doesn't kill ? it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading
through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much
physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that
close, the prey doesn't escape. Of course, there are always exceptions.
Carlisle, for example."

"So? if the venom is left to spread?" I murmured.

"It takes a few days for the transformation to be complete, depending on
how much venom is in the bloodstream, how close the venom enters to the
heart. As long as the heart keeps beating, the poison spreads, healing,
changing the body as it moves through it. Eventually the heart stops, and
the conversion is finished. But all that time, every minute of it, a
victim would be wishing for death."

I shivered.

"It's not pleasant, you see."

"Edward said that it was very hard to do? I don't quite understand," I
said.

"We're also like sharks in a way. Once we taste the blood, or even smell
it for that matter, it becomes very hard to keep from feeding. Sometimes
impossible. So you see, to actually bite someone, to taste the blood, it
would begin the frenzy. It's difficult on both sides ? the blood-lust on
the one hand, the awful pain on the other."

"Why do you think you don't remember?"

"I don't know. For everyone else, the pain of transformation is the
sharpest memory they have of their human life. I remember nothing of
being human." Her voice was wistful.

We lay silently, wrapped in our individual meditations.

The seconds ticked by, and I had almost forgotten her presence, I was so
enveloped in my thoughts.

Then, without any warning, Alice leaped from the bed, landing lightly on
her feet. My head jerked up as I stared at her, startled.

"Something's changed." Her voice was urgent, and she wasn't talking to me
anymore.

She reached the door at the same time Jasper did. He had obviously heard
our conversation and her sudden exclamation. He put his hands on her
shoulders and guided her back to the bed, sitting her on the edge.

"What do you see?" he asked intently, staring into her eyes. Her eyes
were focused on something very far away. I sat close to her, leaning in
to catch her low, quick voice.

"I see a room. It's long, and there are mirrors everywhere. The floor is
wooden. He's in the room, and he's waiting. There's gold? a gold stripe
across the mirrors."

"Where is the room?"

"I don't know. Something is missing ? another decision hasn't been made
yet."

"How much time?"

"It's soon. He'll be in the mirror room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all
depends. He's waiting for something. And he's in the dark now."

Jasper's voice was calm, methodical, as he questioned her in a practiced
way. "What is he doing?"

"He's watching TV? no, he's running a VCR, in the dark, in another place."

"Can you see where he is?"

"No, it's too dark."

"And the mirror room, what else is there?"

"Just the mirrors, and the gold. It's a band, around the room. And
there's a black table with a big stereo, and a TV. He's touching the VCR
there, but he doesn't watch the way he does in the dark room. This is the
room where he waits." Her eyes drifted, then focused on Jasper's face.

"There's nothing else?"

She shook her head. They looked at each other, motionless.

"What does it mean?" I asked.

Neither of them answered for a moment, then Jasper looked at me.

"It means the tracker's plans have changed. He's made a decision that
will lead him to the mirror room, and the dark room."

"But we don't know where those rooms are?"

"No."

"But we do know that he won't be in the mountains north of Washington,
being hunted. He'll elude them." Alice's voice was bleak.

"Should we call?" I asked. They traded a serious look, undecided.

And the phone rang.

Alice was across the room before I could lift my head to look at it.

She pushed a button and held the phone to her ear, but she didn't speak
first.

"Carlisle," she breathed. She didn't seem surprised or relieved, the way
I felt.

"Yes," she said, glancing at me. She listened for a long moment.

"I just saw him." She described again the vision she'd seen. "Whatever
made him get on that plane? it was leading him to those rooms." She
paused. "Yes," Alice said into the phone, and then she spoke to me.
"Bella?"

She held the phone out toward me. I ran to it.

"Hello?" I breathed.

"Bella," Edward said.

"Oh, Edward! I was so worried."

"Bella," he sighed in frustration, "I told you not to worry about
anything but yourself." It was so unbelievably good to hear his voice. I
felt the hovering cloud of despair lighten and drift back as he spoke.

"Where are you?"

"We're outside of Vancouver. Bella, I'm sorry ? we lost him. He seems
suspicious of us ? he's careful to stay just far enough away that I can't
hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now ? it looks like he got on a
plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over." I could hear
Alice filling in Jasper behind me, her quick words blurring together into
a humming noise.

"I know. Alice saw that he got away."

"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to
you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?"

"Yes ? the female has been in town. She went to the house, but while
Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near him, so don't be afraid. He's
safe with Esme and Rosalie watching."

"What is she doing?"

"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town
during the night. Rosalie traced her through the airport, all the roads
around town, the school? she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to
find."

"And you're sure Charlie's safe?"

"Yes, Esme won't let him out of her sight. And we'll be there soon. If
the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self
away with you."

"Come and get it, then," I challenged.

"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." His voice
was hard.

"I love you," I reminded him.

"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love
you, too?"

"Yes, I can, actually."

"I'll come for you soon."

"I'll be waiting."

As soon as the phone went dead, the cloud of depression began to creep
over me again.

I turned to give the phone back to Alice and found her and Jasper bent
over the table, where Alice was sketching on a piece of hotel stationery.
I leaned on the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder.

She drew a room: long, rectangular, with a thinner, square section at the
back. The wooden planks that made up the floor stretched lengthwise
across the room. Down the walls were lines denoting the breaks in the
mirrors. And then, wrapping around the walls, waist high, a long band.
The band Alice said was gold.

"It's a ballet studio," I said, suddenly recognizing the familiar shapes.

They looked at me, surprised.

"Do you know this room?" Jasper's voice sounded calm, but there was an
undercurrent of something I couldn't identify. Alice bent her head to her
work, her hand flying across the page now, the shape of an emergency exit
taking shape against the back wall, the stereo and TV on a low table by
the front right corner.

"It looks like a place I used to go for dance lessons ? when I was eight
or nine. It was shaped just the same." I touched the page where the
square section jutted out, narrowing the back part of the room. "That's
where the bathrooms were ? the doors were through the other dance floor.
But the stereo was here" ? I pointed to the left corner ? "it was older,
and there wasn't a TV. There was a window in the waiting room ? you would
see the room from this perspective if you looked through it."

Alice and Jasper were staring at me.

"Are you sure it's the same room?" Jasper asked, still calm.

"No, not at all ? I suppose most dance studios would look the same ? the
mirrors, the bar." I traced my finger along the ballet bar set against
the mirrors. "It's just the shape that looked familiar." I touched the
door, set in exactly the same place as the one I remembered.

"Would you have any reason to go there now?" Alice asked, breaking my
reverie.

"No, I haven't been there in almost ten years. I was a terrible dancer ?
they always put me in the back for recitals," I admitted.

"So there's no way it could be connected with you?" Alice asked intently.

"No, I don't even think the same person owns it. I'm sure it's just
another dance studio, somewhere."

"Where was the studio you went to?" Jasper asked in a casual voice.

"It was just around the corner from my mom's house. I used to walk there
after school?" I said, my voice trailing off. I didn't miss the look they
exchanged.

"Here in Phoenix, then?" His voice was still casual.

"Yes," I whispered. "Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus."

We all sat in silence, staring at the drawing.

"Alice, is that phone safe?"

"Yes," she reassured me. "The number would just trace back to Washington."

"Then I can use it to call my mom."

"I thought she was in Florida."

"She is ? but she's coming home soon, and she can't come back to that
house while?" My voice trembled. I was thinking about something Edward
had said, about the red-haired female at Charlie's house, at the school,
where my records would be.

"How will you reach her?"

"They don't have a permanent number except at the house ? she's supposed
to check her messages regularly."

"Jasper?" Alice asked.

He thought about it. "I don't think there's any way it could hurt ? be
sure you don't say where you are, of course."

I reached eagerly for the phone and dialed the familiar number. It rang
four times, and then I heard my mom's breezy voice telling me to leave a
message.

"Mom," I said after the beep, "it's me. Listen, I need you to do
something. It's important. As soon as you get this message, call me at
this number." Alice was already at my side, writing the number for me on
the bottom of her picture. I read it carefully, twice. "Please don't go
anywhere until you talk to me. Don't worry, I'm okay, but I have to talk
to you right away, no matter how late you get this call, all right? I
love you, Mom. Bye." I closed my eyes and prayed with all my might that
no unforeseen change of plans would bring her home before she got my
message.

I settled into the sofa, nibbling on a plate of leftover fruit,
anticipating a long evening. I thought about calling Charlie, but I
wasn't sure if I should be home by now or not. I concentrated on the
news, watching out for stories about Florida, or about spring training ?
strikes or hurricanes or terrorist attacks ? anything that might send
them home early.

Immortality must grant endless patience. Neither Jasper nor Alice seemed
to feel the need to do anything at all. For a while, Alice sketched the
vague outline of the dark room from her vision, as much as she could see
in the light from the TV. But when she was done, she simply sat, looking
at the blank walls with her timeless eyes. Jasper, too, seemed to have no
urge to pace, or peek through the curtains, or run screaming out the
door, the way I did.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for the phone to ring
again. The touch of Alice's cold hands woke me briefly as she carried me
to the bed, but I was unconscious again before my head hit the pillow.

Categories: Twilight

Twilight - Chapter 19

Goodbyes

Charlie was waiting up for me. All the house lights were on. My mind was
blank as I tried to think of a way to make him let me go. This wasn't
going to be pleasant.

Edward pulled up slowly, staying well back from my truck. All three of
them were acutely alert, ramrod straight in their seats, listening to
every sound of the wood, looking through every shadow, catching every
scent, searching for something out of place. The engine cut off, and I
sat, motionless, as they continued to listen.

"He's not here," Edward said tensely. "Let's go." Emmett reached over to
help me get out of the harness.

"Don't worry, Bella," he said in a low but cheerful voice, "we'll take
care of things here quickly."

I felt moisture filling up my eyes as I looked at Emmett. I barely knew
him, and yet, somehow, not knowing when I would see him again after
tonight was anguishing. I knew this was just a faint taste of the
goodbyes I would have to survive in the next hour, and the thought made
the tears begin to spill.

"Alice, Emmett." Edward's voice was a command. They slithered soundlessly
into the darkness, instantly disappearing. Edward opened my door and took
my hand, then drew me into the protecting enclosure of his arm. He walked
me swiftly toward the house, eyes always roving through the night.

"Fifteen minutes," he warned under his breath.

"I can do this." I sniffled. My tears had given me an inspiration.

I stopped on the porch and took hold of his face in my hands. I looked
fiercely into his eyes.

"I love you," I said in a low, intense voice. "I will always love you, no
matter what happens now."

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella," he said just as fiercely.

"Just follow the plan, okay? Keep Charlie safe for me. He's not going to
like me very much after this, and I want to have the chance to apologize
later."

"Get inside, Bella. We have to hurry." His voice was urgent.

"One more thing," I whispered passionately. "Don't listen to another word
I say tonight!" He was leaning in, and so all I had to do was stretch up
on my toes to kiss his surprised, frozen lips with as much force as I was
capable of. Then I turned and kicked the door open.

"Go away, Edward!" I yelled at him, running inside and slamming the door
shut in his still-shocked face.

"Bella?" Charlie had been hovering in the living room, and he was already
on his feet.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed at him through my tears, which were flowing
relentlessly now. I ran up the stairs to my room, throwing the door shut
and locking it. I ran to my bed, flinging myself on the floor to retrieve
my duffel bag. I reached swiftly between the mattress and box spring to
grab the knotted old sock that contained my secret cash hoard.

Charlie was pounding on my door.

"Bella, are you okay? What's going on?" His voice was frightened.

"I'm going borne," I shouted, my voice breaking in the perfect spot.

"Did he hurt you?" His tone edged toward anger.

"No!" I shrieked a few octaves higher. I turned to my dresser, and Edward
was already there, silently yanking out armfuls of random clothes, which
he proceeded to throw to me.

"Did he break up with you?" Charlie was perplexed.

"No!" I yelled, slightly more breathless as I shoved everything into the
bag. Edward threw another drawer's contents at me. The bag was pretty
much full now.

"What happened, Bella?" Charlie shouted through the door, pounding again.

"I broke up with him!" I shouted back, jerking on the zipper of my bag.
Edward's capable hands pushed mine away and zipped it smoothly. He put
the strap carefully over my arm.

"I'll be in the truck ? go!" he whispered, and pushed me toward the door.
He vanished out the window.

I unlocked the door and pushed past Charlie roughly, struggling with my
heavy bag as I ran down the stairs.

"What happened?" he yelled. He was right behind me. "I thought you liked
him."

He caught my elbow in the kitchen. Though he was still bewildered, his
grip was firm.

He spun me around to look at him, and I could see in his face that he had
no intention of letting me leave. I could think of only one way to
escape, and it involved hurting him so much that I hated myself for even
considering it. But I had no time, and I had to keep him safe.

I glared up at my father, fresh tears in my eyes for what I was about to
do.

"I do like him ? that's the problem. I can't do this anymore! I can't put
down any more roots here! I don't want to end up trapped in this stupid,
boring town like Mom! I'm not going to make the same dumb mistake she
did. I hate it ? I can't stay here another minute!"

His hand dropped from my arm like I'd electrocuted him. I turned away
from his shocked, wounded face and headed for the door.

"Bells, you can't leave now. It's nighttime," he whispered behind me.

I didn't turn around. "I'll sleep in the truck if I get tired."

"Just wait another week," he pled, still shell-shocked. "Ren?e will be
back by then."

This completely derailed me. "What?"

Charlie continued eagerly, almost babbling with relief as I hesitated.
"She called while you were out. Things aren't going so well in Florida,
and if Phil doesn't get signed by the end of the week, they're going back
to Arizona. The assistant coach of the Sidewinders said they might have a
spot for another shortstop."

I shook my head, trying to reassemble my now-confused thoughts. Every
passing second put Charlie in more danger.

"I have a key," I muttered, turning the knob. He was too close, one hand
extended toward me, his face dazed. I couldn't lose any more time arguing
with him. I was going to have to hurt him further.

"Just let me go, Charlie." I repeated my mother's last words as she'd
walked out this same door so many years ago. I said them as angrily as I
could manage, and I threw the door open. "It didn't work out, okay? I
really, really hate Forks!"

My cruel words did their job ? Charlie stayed frozen on the doorstep,
stunned, while I ran into the night. I was hideously frightened of the
empty yard. I ran wildly for the truck, visualizing a dark shadow behind
me. I threw my bag in the bed and wrenched the door open. The key was
waiting in the ignition.

"I'll call you tomorrow!" I yelled, wishing more than anything that I
could explain everything to him right then, knowing I would never be able
to. I gunned the engine and peeled out.

Edward reached for my hand.

"Pull over," he said as the house, and Charlie, disappeared behind us.

"I can drive," I said through the tears pouring down my cheeks.

His long hands unexpectedly gripped my waist, and his foot pushed mine
off the gas pedal. He pulled me across his lap, wrenching my hands free
of the wheel, and suddenly he was in the driver's seat. The truck didn't
swerve an inch.

"You wouldn't be able to find the house," he explained.

Lights flared suddenly behind us. I stared out the back window, eyes wide
with horror.

"It's just Alice," he reassured me. He took my hand again.

My mind was filled with the image of Charlie in the doorway. "The
tracker?"

"He heard the end of your performance," Edward said grimly.

"Charlie?" I asked in dread.

"The tracker followed us. He's running behind us now."

My body went cold.

"Can we outrun him?"

"No." But he sped up as he spoke. The truck's engine whined in protest.

My plan suddenly didn't feel so brilliant anymore.

I was staring back at Alice's headlights when the truck shuddered and a
dark shadow sprung up outside the window.

My bloodcurdling scream lasted a fraction of a second before Edward's
hand clamped down on my mouth.

"It's Emmett!"

He released my mouth, and wound his arm around my waist.

"It's okay, Bella," he promised. "You're going to be safe."

We raced through the quiet town toward the north highway.

"I didn't realize you were still so bored with small-town life," he said
conversationally, and I knew he was trying to distract me. "It seemed
like you were adjusting fairly well ? especially recently. Maybe I was
just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you."

"I wasn't being nice," I confessed, ignoring his attempt at diversion,
looking down at my knees. "That was the same thing my mom said when she
left him. You could say I was hitting below the belt."

"Don't worry. He'll forgive you." He smiled a little, though it didn't
touch his eyes.

I stared at him desperately, and he saw the naked panic in my eyes.

"Bella, it's going to be all right."

"But it won't be all right when I'm not with you," I whispered.

"We'll be together again in a few days," he said, tightening his arm
around me. "Don't forget that this was your idea."

"It was the best idea ? of course it was mine."

His answering smile was bleak and disappeared immediately.

"Why did this happen?" I asked, my voice catching. "Why me?"

He stared blackly at the road ahead. "It's my fault ? I was a fool to
expose you like that." The rage in his voice was directed internally.

"That's not what I meant," I insisted. "I was there, big deal. It didn't
bother the other two. Why did this James decide to kill met There're
people all over the place, why me?"

He hesitated, thinking before he answered.

"I got a good look at his mind tonight," he began in a low voice. "I'm
not sure if there's anything I could have done to avoid this, once he saw
you. It is partially your fault." His voice was wry. "If you didn't smell
so appallingly luscious, he might not have bothered. But when I defended
you? well, that made it a lot worse. He's not used to being thwarted, no
matter how insignificant the object. He thinks of himself as a hunter and
nothing else. His existence is consumed with tracking, and a challenge is
all he asks of life. Suddenly we've presented him with a beautiful
challenge ? a large clan of strong fighters all bent on protecting the
one vulnerable element. You wouldn't believe how euphoric he is now. It's
his favorite game, and we've just made it his most exciting game ever."
His tone was full of disgust.

He paused a moment.

"But if I had stood by, he would have killed you right then," he said
with hopeless frustration.

"I thought? I didn't smell the same to the others? as I do to you," I
said hesitantly.

"You don't. But that doesn't mean that you aren't still a temptation to
every one of them. If you had appealed to the tracker ? or any of them ?
the same way you appeal to me, it would have meant a fight right there."

I shuddered.

"I don't think I have any choice but to kill him now," he muttered.
"Carlisle won't like it."

I could hear the tires cross the bridge, though I couldn't see the river
in the dark. I knew we were getting close. I had to ask him now.

"How can you kill a vampire?"

He glanced at me with unreadable eyes and his voice was suddenly harsh.
"The only way to be sure is to tear him to shreds, and then burn the
pieces."

"And the other two will fight with him?"

"The woman will. I'm not sure about Laurent. They don't have a very
strong bond ? he's only with them for convenience. He was embarrassed by
James in the meadow?"

"But James and the woman ? they'll try to kill you?" I asked, my voice
raw.

"Bella, don't you dare waste time worrying about me. Your only concern is
keeping yourself safe and ? please, please ? trying not to be reckless."

"Is he still following?"

"Yes. He won't attack the house, though. Not tonight."

He turned off onto the invisible drive, with Alice following behind.

We drove right up to the house. The lights inside were bright, but they
did little to alleviate the blackness of the encroaching forest. Emmett
had my door open before the truck was stopped; he pulled me out of the
seat, tucked me like a football into his vast chest, and ran me through
the door.

We burst into the large white room, Edward and Alice at our sides. All of
them were there; they were already on their feet at the sound of our
approach. Laurent stood in their midst. I could hear low growls rumble
deep in Emmett's throat as he set me down next to Edward.

"He's tracking us," Edward announced, glaring balefully at Laurent.

Laurent's face was unhappy. "I was afraid of that."

Alice danced to Jasper's side and whispered in his ear; her lips quivered
with the speed of her silent speech. They flew up the stairs together.
Rosalie watched them, and then moved quickly to Emmett's side. Her
beautiful eyes were intense and ? when they flickered unwillingly to my
face ? furious.

"What will he do?" Carlisle asked Laurent in chilling tones.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "I was afraid, when your boy there defended
her, that it would set him off."

"Can you stop him?"

Laurent shook his head. "Nothing stops James when he gets started."

"We'll stop him," Emmett promised. There was no doubt what he meant.

"You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three
hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven."

His coven, I thought, of course. The show of leadership in the clearing
was merely that, a show.

Laurent was shaking his head. He glanced at me, perplexed, and back to
Carlisle. "Are you sure it's worth it?"

Edward's enraged roar filled the room; Laurent cringed back.

Carlisle looked gravely at Laurent. "I'm afraid you're going to have to
make a choice."

Laurent understood. He deliberated for a moment. His eyes took in every
face, and finally swept the bright room.

"I'm intrigued by the life you've created here. But I won't get in the
middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won't go up against
James. I think I will head north ? to that clan in Denali." He hesitated.
"Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled
senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to
be, and he won't come at you head on? I'm sorry for what's been unleashed
here. Truly sorry." He bowed his head, but I saw him flicker another
puzzled look at me.

"Go in peace," was Carlisle's formal answer.

Laurent took another long look around himself, and then he hurried out
the door.

The silence lasted less than a second.

"How close?" Carlisle looked to Edward.

Esme was already moving; her hand touched an inconspicuous keypad on the
wall, and with a groan, huge metal shutters began sealing up the glass
wall. I gaped.

"About three miles out past the river; he's circling around to meet up
with the female."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll lead him off, and then Jasper and Alice will run her south."

"And then?"

Edward's tone was deadly. "As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him."

"I guess there's no other choice," Carlisle agreed, his face grim.

Edward turned to Rosalie.

"Get her upstairs and trade clothes," Edward commanded. She stared back
at him with livid disbelief.

"Why should I?" she hissed. "What is she to me? Except a menace ? a
danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."

I flinched back from the venom in her voice.

"Rose?" Emmett murmured, putting one hand on her shoulder. She shook it
off.

But I was watching Edward carefully, knowing his temper, worried about
his reaction.

He surprised me. He looked away from Rosalie as if she hadn't spoken, as
if she didn't exist.

"Esme?" he asked calmly.

"Of course," Esme murmured.

Esme was at my side in half a heartbeat, swinging me up easily into her
arms, and dashing up the stairs before I could gasp in shock.

"What are we doing?" I asked breathlessly as she set me down in a dark
room somewhere off the second-story hall.

"Trying to confuse the smell. It won't work for long, but it might help
get you out." I could hear her clothes falling to the floor.

"I don't think I'll fit?" I hesitated, but her hands were abruptly
pulling my shirt over my head. I quickly stripped my jeans off myself.
She handed me something, it felt like a shirt. I struggled to get my arms
through the right holes. As soon as I was done she handed me her slacks.
I yanked them on, but I couldn't get my feet out; they were too long. She
deftly rolled the hems a few times so I could stand. Somehow she was
already in my clothes. She pulled me back to the stairs, where Alice
stood, a small leather bag in one hand. They each grabbed one of my
elbows and half-carried me as they flew down the stairs.

It appeared that everything had been settled downstairs in our absence.
Edward and Emmett were ready to leave, Emmett carrying a heavy-looking
backpack over his shoulder. Carlisle was handing something small to Esme.
He turned and handed Alice the same thing ? it was a tiny silver cell
phone.

"Esme and Rosalie will be taking your truck, Bella," he told me as he
passed. I nodded, glancing warily at Rosalie. She was glowering at
Carlisle with a resentful expression.

"Alice, Jasper ? take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the
south."

They nodded as well.

"We're taking the Jeep."

I was surprised to see that Carlisle intended to go with Edward. I
realized suddenly, with a stab of fear, that they made up the hunting
party.

"Alice," Carlisle asked, "will they take the bait?"

Everyone watched Alice as she closed her eyes and became incredibly still.

Finally her eyes opened. "He'll track you. The woman will follow the
truck. We should be able to leave after that." Her voice was certain.

"Let's go." Carlisle began to walk toward the kitchen.

But Edward was at my side at once. He caught me up in his iron grip,
crushing me to him. He seemed unaware of his watching family as he pulled
my face to his, lifting my feet off the floor. For the shortest second,
his lips were icy and hard against mine. Then it was over. He set me
down, still holding my face, his glorious eyes burning into mine.

His eyes went blank, curiously dead, as he turned away.

And they were gone.

We stood there, the others looking away from me as the tears streaked
noiselessly down my face.

The silent moment dragged on, and then Esme's phone vibrated in her hand.
It flashed to her ear.

"Now," she said. Rosalie stalked out the front door without another
glance in my direction, but Esme touched my cheek as she passed.

"Be safe." Her whisper lingered behind them as they slipped out the door.
I heard my truck start thunderously, and then fade away.

Jasper and Alice waited. Alice's phone seemed to be at her ear before it
buzzed.

"Edward says the woman is on Esme's trail. I'll get the car." She
vanished into the shadows the way Edward had gone.

Jasper and I looked at each other. He stood across the length of the
entryway from me? being careful.

"You're wrong, you know," he said quietly.

"What?" I gasped.

"I can feel what you're feeling now ? and you are worth it."

"I'm not," I mumbled. "If anything happens to them, it will be for
nothing."

"You're wrong," he repeated, smiling kindly at me.

I heard nothing, but then Alice stepped through the front door and came
toward me with her arms held out.

"May I?" she asked.

"You're the first one to ask permission." I smiled wryly.

She lifted me in her slender arms as easily as Emmett had, shielding me
protectively, and then we flew out the door, leaving the lights bright
behind us.

Categories: Twilight

Twilight - Chapter 18

The Hunt

They emerged one by one from the forest edge, ranging a dozen meters
apart. The first male into the clearing fell back immediately, allowing
the other male to take the front, orienting himself around the tall,
dark-haired man in a manner that clearly displayed who led the pack. The
third was a woman; from this distance, all I could see of her was that
her hair was a startling shade of red.

They closed ranks before they continued cautiously toward Edward's
family, exhibiting the natural respect of a troop of predators as it
encounters a larger, unfamiliar group of its own kind.

As they approached, I could see how different they were from the Cullens.
Their walk was catlike, a gait that seemed constantly on the edge of
shifting into a crouch. They dressed in the ordinary gear of backpackers:
jeans and casual button-down shirts in heavy, weatherproof fabrics. The
clothes were frayed, though, with wear, and they were barefoot. Both men
had cropped hair, but the woman's brilliant orange hair was filled with
leaves and debris from the woods.

Their sharp eyes carefully took in the more polished, urbane stance of
Carlisle, who, flanked by Emmett and Jasper, stepped guardedly forward to
meet them. Without any seeming communication between them, they each
straightened into a more casual, erect bearing.

The man in front was easily the most beautiful, his skin olive-toned
beneath the typical pallor, his hair a glossy black. He was of a medium
build, hard-muscled, of course, but nothing next to Emmett's brawn. He
smiled an easy smile, exposing a flash of gleaming white teeth.

The woman was wilder, her eyes shifting restlessly between the men facing
her, and the loose grouping around me, her chaotic hair quivering in the
slight breeze. Her posture was distinctly feline. The second male hovered
unobtrusively behind them, slighter than the leader, his light brown hair
and regular features both nondescript. His eyes, though completely still,
somehow seemed the most vigilant.

Their eyes were different, too. Not the gold or black I had come to
expect, but a deep burgundy color that was disturbing and sinister.

The dark-haired man, still smiling, stepped toward Carlisle.

"We thought we heard a game," he said in a relaxed voice with the
slightest of French accents. "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James."
He gestured to the vampires beside him.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and
Alice, Edward and Bella." He pointed us out in groups, deliberately not
calling attention to individuals. I felt a shock when he said my name.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Laurent asked sociably.

Carlisle matched Laurent's friendly tone. "Actually, we were just
finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you
planning to stay in the area for long?"

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the
neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional
visitor, like yourselves."

The tense atmosphere had slowly subsided into a casual conversation; I
guessed that Jasper was using his peculiar gift to control the situation.

"What's your hunting range?" Laurent casually inquired.

Carlisle ignored the assumption behind the inquiry. "The Olympic Range
here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent
residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near
Denali."

Laurent rocked back on his heels slightly.

"Permanent? How do you manage that?" There was honest curiosity in his
voice.

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk
comfortably?" Carlisle invited. "It's a rather long story."

James and Victoria exchanged a surprised look at the mention of the word
"home," but Laurent controlled his expression better.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome." His smile was genial. "We've
been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the
chance to clean up in a while." His eyes moved appreciatively over
Carlisle's refined appearance.

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from
hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you
understand," Carlisle explained.

"Of course." Laurent nodded. "We certainly won't encroach on your
territory. We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway," he laughed. A shiver
ran up my spine.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us ? Emmett and Alice,
you can go with Edward and Bella to get the Jeep," he casually added.

Three things seemed to happen simultaneously while Carlisle was speaking.
My hair ruffled with the light breeze, Edward stiffened, and the second
male, James, suddenly whipped his head around, scrutinizing me, his
nostrils flaring.

A swift rigidity fell on all of them as James lurched one step forward
into a crouch. Edward bared his teeth, crouching in defense, a feral
snarl ripping from his throat.

It was nothing like the playful sounds I'd heard from him this morning;
it was the single most menacing thing I had ever heard, and chills ran
from the crown of my head to the back of my heels.

"What's this?" Laurent exclaimed in open surprise. Neither James nor
Edward relaxed their aggressive poses. James feinted slightly to the
side, and Edward shifted in response.

"She's with us." Carlisle's firm rebuff was directed toward James.
Laurent seemed to catch my scent less powerfully than James, but
awareness now dawned on his face.

"You brought a snack?" he asked, his expression incredulous as he took an
involuntary step forward.

Edward snarled even more ferociously, harshly, his lip curling high above
his glistening, bared teeth. Laurent stepped back again.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle corrected in a hard voice.

"But she's human," Laurent protested. The words were not at all
aggressive, merely astounded.

"Yes." Emmett was very much in evidence at Carlisle's side, his eyes on
James. James slowly straightened out of his crouch, but his eyes never
left me, his nostrils still wide. Edward stayed tensed like a lion in
front of me.

When Laurent spoke, his tone was soothing ? trying to defuse the sudden
hostility. "It appears we have a lot to learn about each other."

"Indeed." Carlisle's voice was still cool.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation." His eyes flicked toward me and
back to Carlisle. "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We
won't hunt in your range, as I said."

James glanced in disbelief and aggravation at Laurent and exchanged
another brief look with Victoria, whose eyes still flickered edgily from
face to face.

Carlisle measured Laurent's open expression for a moment before he spoke.
"We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme?" he called. They gathered
together, blocking me from view as they converged. Alice was instantly at
my side, and Emmett fell back slowly, his eyes locked on James as he
backed toward us.

"Let's go, Bella." Edward's voice was low and bleak.

This whole time I'd been rooted in place, terrified into absolute
immobility. Edward had to grip my elbow and pull sharply to break my
trance. Alice and Emmett were close behind us, hiding me. I stumbled
alongside Edward, still stunned with fear. I couldn't hear if the main
group had left yet. Edward's impatience was almost tangible as we moved
at human speed to the forest edge.

Once we were into the trees, Edward slung me over his back without
breaking stride. I gripped as tightly as possible as he took off, the
others close on his heels. I kept my head down, but my eyes, wide with
fright, wouldn't close. They plunged through the now-black forest like
wraiths. The sense of exhilaration that usually seemed to possess Edward
as he ran was completely absent, replaced by a fury that consumed him and
drove him still faster. Even with me on his back, the others trailed
behind.

We reached the Jeep in an impossibly short time, and Edward barely slowed
as he flung me in the backseat.

"Strap her in," he ordered Emmett, who slid in beside me.

Alice was already in the front seat, and Edward was starting the engine.
It roared to life and we swerved backward, spinning around to face the
winding road.

Edward was growling something too fast for me to understand, but it
sounded a lot like a string of profanities.

The jolting trip was much worse this time, and the darkness only made it
more frightening. Emmett and Alice both glared out the side windows.

We hit the main road, and though our speed increased, I could see much
better where we were going. And we were headed south, away from Forks.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

No one answered. No one even looked at me.

"Dammit, Edward! Where are you taking me?"

"We have to get you away from here ? far away ? now." He didn't look
back, his eyes on the road. The speedometer read a hundred and five miles
an hour.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" I shouted. I struggled with the
stupid harness, tearing at the straps.

"Emmett," Edward said grimly.

And Emmett secured my hands in his steely grasp.

"No! Edward! No, you can't do this."

"I have to, Bella, now please be quiet."

"I won't! You have to take me back ? Charlie will call the FBI! They'll
be all over your family ? Carlisle and Esme! They'll have to leave, to
hide forever!"

"Calm down, Bella." His voice was cold. "We've been there before."

"Not over me, you don't! You're not ruining everything over me!" I
struggled violently, with total futility.

Alice spoke for the first time. "Edward, pull over."

He flashed her a hard look, and then sped up.

"Edward, let's just talk this through."

"You don't understand," he roared in frustration. I'd never heard his
voice so loud; it was deafening in the confines of the Jeep. The
speedometer neared one hundred and fifteen. "He's a tracker, Alice, did
you see that? He's a tracker!"

I felt Emmett stiffen next to me, and I wondered at his reaction to the
word. It meant something more to the three of them than it did to me; I
wanted to understand, but there was no opening for me to ask.

"Pull over, Edward." Alice's tone was reasonable, but there was a ring of
authority in it I'd never heard before.

The speedometer inched passed one-twenty.

"Do it, Edward."

"Listen to me, Alice. I saw his mind. Tracking is his passion, his
obsession ? and he wants her, Alice ? her, specifically. He begins the
hunt tonight."

"He doesn't know where ?"

He interrupted her. "How long do you think it will take him to cross her
scent in town? His plan was already set before the words were out of
Laurent's mouth."

I gasped, knowing where my scent would lead. "Charlie! You can't leave
him there! You can't leave him!" I thrashed against the harness.

"She's right," Alice said.

The car slowed slightly.

"Let's just look at our options for a minute," Alice coaxed.

The car slowed again, more noticeably, and then suddenly we screeched to
a stop on the shoulder of the highway. I flew against the harness, and
then slammed back into the seat.

"There are no options," Edward hissed.

"I'm not leaving Charlie!" I yelled.

He ignored me completely.

"We have to take her back," Emmett finally spoke.

"No." Edward was absolute.

"He's no match for us, Edward. He won't be able to touch her."

"He'll wait."

Emmett smiled. "I can wait, too."

"You didn't see ? you don't understand. Once he commits to a hunt, he's
unshakable. We'd have to kill him."

Emmett didn't seem upset by the idea. "That's an option."

"And the female. She's with him. If it turns into a fight, the leader
will go with them, too."

"There are enough of us."

"There's another option," Alice said quietly.

Edward turned on her in fury, his voice a blistering snarl. "There ? is ?
no ? other ? option!"

Emmett and I both stared at him in shock, but Alice seemed unsurprised.
The silence lasted for a long minute as Edward and Alice stared each
other down.

I broke it. "Does anyone want to hear my plan?"

"No," Edward growled. Alice glared at him, finally provoked.

"Listen," I pleaded. "You take me back."

"No," he interrupted.

I glared at him and continued. "You take me back. I tell my dad I want to
go home to Phoenix. I pack my bags. We wait till this tracker is
watching, and then we run. He'll follow us and leave Charlie alone.
Charlie won't call the FBI on your family. Then you can take me any
damned place you want."

They stared at me, stunned.

"It's not a bad idea, really." Emmett's surprise was definitely an insult.

"It might work ? and we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You
know that," Alice said.

Everyone looked at Edward.

"It's too dangerous ? I don't want him within a hundred miles of her."

Emmett was supremely confident. "Edward, he's not getting through us."

Alice thought for a minute. "I don't see him attacking. He'll try to wait
for us to leave her alone."

"It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen."

"I demand that you take me home." I tried to sound firm.

Edward pressed his fingers to his temples and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Please," I said in a much smaller voice.

He didn't look up. When he spoke, his voice sounded worn.

"You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not. You tell
Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever
story works. Pack the first things your hands touch, and then get in your
truck. I don't care what he says to you. You have fifteen minutes. Do you
hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."

The Jeep rumbled to life, and he spun us around, the tires squealing. The
needle on the speedometer started to race up the dial.

"Emmett?" I asked, looking pointedly at my hands.

"Oh, sorry." He let me loose.

A few minutes passed in silence, other than the roar of the engine. Then
Edward spoke again.

"This is how it's going to happen. When we get to the house, if the
tracker is not there, I will walk her to the door. Then she has fifteen
minutes." He glared at me in the rearview mirror. "Emmett, you take the
outside of the house. Alice, you get the truck. I'll be inside as long as
she is. After she's out, you two can take the Jeep home and tell
Carlisle."

"No way," Emmett broke in. "I'm with you."

"Think it through, Emmett. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you."

Edward sighed. "If the tracker is there," he continued grimly, "we keep
driving."

"We're going to make it there before him," Alice said confidently.

Edward seemed to accept that. Whatever his problem with Alice was, he
didn't doubt her now.

"What are we going to do with the Jeep?" she asked.

His voice had a hard edge. "You're driving it home."

"No, I'm not," she said calmly.

The unintelligible stream of profanities started again.

"We can't all fit in my truck," I whispered.

Edward didn't appear to hear me.

"I think you should let me go alone," I said even more quietly.

He heard that.

"Bella, please just do this my way, just this once," he said between
clenched teeth.

"Listen, Charlie's not an imbecile," I protested. "If you're not in town
tomorrow, he's going to get suspicious."

"That's irrelevant. We'll make sure he's safe, and that's all that
matters."

"Then what about this tracker? He saw the way you acted tonight. He's
going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

Emmett looked at me, insultingly surprised again. "Edward, listen to
her," he urged. "I think she's right."

"Yes, she is," Alice agreed.

"I can't do that." Edward's voice was icy.

"Emmett should stay, too," I continued. "He definitely got an eyeful of
Emmett."

"What?" Emmett turned on me.

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay," Alice agreed.

Edward stared at her incredulously. "You think I should let her go alone?"

"Of course not," Alice said. "Jasper and I will take her."

"I can't do that," Edward repeated, but this time there was a trace of
defeat in his voice. The logic was working on him.

I tried to be persuasive. "Hang out here for a week ?" I saw his
expression in the mirror and amended "? a few days. Let Charlie see you
haven't kidnapped me, and lead this James on a wild-goose chase. Make
sure he's completely off my trail. Then come and meet me. Take a
roundabout route, of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home."

I could see him beginning to consider it.

"Meet you where?"

"Phoenix." Of course.

"No. He'll hear that's where you're going," he said impatiently.

"And you'll make it look like that's a ruse, obviously. He'll know that
we'll know that he's listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going
where I say I am going."

"She's diabolical," Emmett chuckled.

"And if that doesn't work?"

"There are several million people in Phoenix," I informed him.

"It's not that hard to find a phone book."

"I won't go home."

"Oh?" he inquired, a dangerous note in his voice.

"I'm quite old enough to get my own place."

"Edward, we'll be with her," Alice reminded him.

"What are you going to do in Phoenix?" he asked her scathingly.

"Stay indoors."

"I kind of like it." Emmett was thinking about cornering James, no doubt.

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Look, if we try to take him down while she's still around, there's a
much better chance that someone will get hurt ? she'll get hurt, or you
will, trying to protect her. Now, if we get him alone?" He trailed off
with a slow smile. I was right.

The Jeep was crawling slowly along now as we drove into town. Despite my
brave talk, I could feel the hairs on my arms standing up. I thought
about Charlie, alone in the house, and tried to be courageous.

"Bella." Edward's voice was very soft. Alice and Emmett looked out their
windows. "If you let anything happen to yourself? anything at all ? I'm
holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," I gulped.

He turned to Alice.

"Can Jasper handle this?"

"Give him some credit, Edward. He's been doing very, very well, all
things considered."

"Can you handle this?" he asked.

And graceful little Alice pulled back her lips in a horrific grimace and
let loose with a guttural snarl that had me cowering against the seat in
terror.

Edward smiled at her. "But keep your opinions to yourself," he muttered
suddenly.

Categories: Twilight

Twilight - Chapter 16

Carlisle

He led me back to the room that he'd pointed out as Carlisle's office. He
paused outside the door for an instant.

"Come in," Carlisle's voice invited.

Edward opened the door to a high-ceilinged room with tall, west-facing
windows. The walls were paneled again, in a darker wood ? where they were
visible. Most of the wall space was taken up by towering bookshelves that
reached high above my head and held more books than I'd ever seen outside
a library.

Carlisle sat behind a huge mahogany desk in a leather chair. He was just
placing a bookmark in the pages of the thick volume he held. The room was
how I'd always imagined a college dean's would look ? only Carlisle
looked too young to fit the part.

"What can I do for you?" he asked us pleasantly, rising from his seat.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," Edward said. "Well, your
history, actually."

"We didn't mean to disturb you," I apologized.

"Not at all. Where are you going to start?"

"The Waggoner," Edward replied, placing one hand lightly on my shoulder
and spinning me around to look back toward the door we'd just come
through. Every time he touched me, in even the most casual way, my heart
had an audible reaction. It was more embarrassing with Carlisle there.

The wall we faced now was different from the others. Instead of
bookshelves, this wall was crowded with framed pictures of all sizes,
some in vibrant colors, others dull monochromes. I searched for some
logic, some binding motif the collection had in common, but I found
nothing in my hasty examination.

Edward pulled me toward the far left side, standing me in front of a
small square oil painting in a plain wooden frame. This one did not stand
out among the bigger and brighter pieces; painted in varying tones of
sepia, it depicted a miniature city full of steeply slanted roofs, with
thin spires atop a few scattered towers. A wide river filled the
foreground, crossed by a bridge covered with structures that looked like
tiny cathedrals.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," Edward said.

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added, from a few feet behind us. I
flinched; I hadn't heard him approach. Edward squeezed my hand.

"Will you tell the story?" Edward asked. I twisted a little to see
Carlisle's reaction.

He met my glance and smiled. "I would," he replied. "But I'm actually
running a bit late. The hospital called this morning ? Dr. Snow is taking
a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do," he added,
grinning at Edward now.

It was a strange combination to absorb ? the everyday concerns of the
town doctor stuck in the middle of a discussion of his early days in
seventeenth-century London.

It was also unsettling to know that he spoke aloud only for my benefit.

After another warm smile for me, Carlisle left the room.

I stared at the little picture of Carlisle's hometown for a long moment.

"What happened then?" I finally asked, staring up at Edward, who was
watching me. "When he realized what had happened to him?"

He glanced back to the paintings, and I looked to see which image caught
his interest now. It was a larger landscape in dull fall colors ? an
empty, shadowed meadow in a forest, with a craggy peak in the distance.

"When he knew what he had become," Edward said quietly, "he rebelled
against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" I didn't mean to say it aloud, but the word broke through my shock.

"He jumped from great heights," Edward told me, his voice impassive. "He
tried to drown himself in the ocean? but he was young to the new life,
and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist? feeding? while
he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over
everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to
try to kill himself with starvation."

"Is that possible?" My voice was faint.

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."

I opened my mouth to ask, but he spoke before I could.

"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he
could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was
weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest
places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with
thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he
realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared.
Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new
philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found
himself again.

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent,
eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by
night, planned by day. He swam to France and ?"

"He swam to France?"

"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella," he reminded me patiently.

"That's true, I guess. It just sounded funny in that context. Go on."

"Swimming is easy for us ?"

"Everything is easy for you," I griped.

He waited, his expression amused.

"I won't interrupt again, I promise."

He chuckled darkly, and finished his sentence. "Because, technically, we
don't need to breathe."

"You ?"

"No, no, you promised." He laughed, putting his cold finger lightly to my
lips. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"You can't spring something like that on me, and then expect me not to
say anything," I mumbled against his finger.

He lifted his hand, moving it to rest against my neck. The speed of my
heart reacted to that, but I persisted.

"You don't have to breathe?" I demanded.

"No, it's not necessary. Just a habit." He shrugged.

"How long can you go? without breathing?"

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable ?
being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable," I echoed.

I wasn't paying attention to my own expression, but something in it made
him grow somber. His hand dropped to his side and he stood very still,
his eyes intent on my face. The silence lengthened. His features were
immobile as stone.

"What is it?" I whispered, touching his frozen face.

His face softened under my hand, and he sighed. "I keep waiting for it to
happen."

"For what to happen?"

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is
going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you
go." He smiled half a smile, but his eyes were serious. "I won't stop
you. I want this to happen, because I want you to be safe. And yet, I
want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile?" He
trailed off, staring at my face. Waiting.

"I'm not running anywhere," I promised.

"We'll see," he said, smiling again.

I frowned at him. "So, go on ? Carlisle was swimming to France."

He paused, getting back into his story. Reflexively, his eyes flickered
to another picture ? the most colorful of them all, the most ornately
framed, and the largest; it was twice as wide as the door it hung next
to. The canvas overflowed with bright figures in swirling robes, writhing
around long pillars and off marbled balconies. I couldn't tell if it
represented Greek mythology, or if the characters floating in the clouds
above were meant to be biblical.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the
universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine ? and
found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives." His
expression became awed, almost reverent. "I can't adequately describe the
struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect
his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood,
and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great
deal of peace there, at the hospital?" Edward stared off into space for a
long moment. Suddenly he seemed to recall his purpose. He tapped his
finger against the huge painting in front of us.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were
much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."

He touched a comparatively sedate quartet of figures painted on the
highest balcony, looking down calmly on the mayhem below them. I examined
the grouping carefully and realized, with a startled laugh, that I
recognized the golden-haired man.

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted
them as gods," Edward chuckled. "Aro, Marcus, Caius," he said, indicating
the other three, two black-haired, one snowy-white. "Nighttime patrons of
the arts."

"What happened to them?" I wondered aloud, my fingertip hovering a
centimeter from the figures on the canvas.

"They're still there." He shrugged. "As they have been for who knows how
many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a
few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but
they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to 'his natural food
source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to
persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the
New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely,
you see.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff
of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if
he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship
he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in
Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years,
and he had almost decided to act ? since he couldn't find a companion, he
would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation
had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life
the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found
me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had
nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try?"

His voice, nearly a whisper now, trailed off. He stared unseeingly
through the west windows. I wondered which images filled his mind now,
Carlisle's memories or his own. I waited quietly.

When he turned back to me, a gentle angel's smile lit his expression.

"And so we've come full circle," he concluded.

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?" I wondered.

"Almost always." He put his hand lightly on my waist and pulled me with
him as he walked through the door. I stared back at the wall of pictures,
wondering if I would ever get to hear the other stories.

Edward didn't say any more as we walked down the hall, so I asked,
"Almost?"

He sighed, seeming reluctant to answer. "Well, I had a typical bout of
rebellious adolescence ? about ten years after I was? born? created,
whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence,
and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a
time."

"Really?" I was intrigued, rather than frightened, as I perhaps should
have been.

He could tell. I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight
of stairs, but I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings.

"That doesn't repulse you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I guess? it sounds reasonable."

He barked a laugh, more loudly than before. We were at the top of the
stairs now, in another paneled hallway.

"From the time of my new birth," he murmured, "I had the advantage of
knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human
alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle ? I could read
his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his
vision. I thought I would be exempt from the? depression? that
accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could
pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer
down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl ? if I saved her, then
surely I wasn't so terrible."

I shivered, imagining only too clearly what he described ? the alley at
night, the frightened girl, the dark man behind her. And Edward, Edward
as he hunted, terrible and glorious as a young god, unstoppable. Would
she have been grateful, that girl, or more frightened than before?

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't
escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And
I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the
prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

We'd come to a stop in front of the last door in the hall.

"My room," he informed me, opening it and pulling me through.

His room faced south, with a wall-sized window like the great room below.
The whole back side of the house must be glass. His view looked down on
the winding Sol Duc River, across the untouched forest to the Olympic
Mountain range. The mountains were much closer than I would have believed.

The western wall was completely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs.
His room was better stocked than a music store. In the corner was a
sophisticated-looking sound system, the kind I was afraid to touch
because I'd be sure to break something. There was no bed, only a wide and
inviting black leather sofa. The floor was covered with a thick golden
carpet, and the walls were hung with heavy fabric in a slightly darker
shade.

"Good acoustics?" I guessed.

He chuckled and nodded.

He picked up a remote and turned the stereo on. It was quiet, but the
soft jazz number sounded like the band was in the room with us. I went to
look at his mind-boggling music collection.

"How do you have these organized?" I asked, unable to find any rhyme or
reason to the titles.

He wasn't paying attention.

"Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame," he
said absently.

I turned, and he was looking at me with a peculiar expression in his eyes.

"What?"

"I was prepared to feel? relieved. Having you know about everything, not
needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than
that. I like it. It makes me? happy." He shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I'm glad," I said, smiling back. I'd worried that he might regret
telling me these things. It was good to know that wasn't the case.

But then, as his eyes dissected my expression, his smile faded and his
forehead creased.

"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" I
guessed.

A faint smile touched his lips, and he nodded.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think
you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually," I lied casually.

He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a
wide, wicked smile.

"You really shouldn't have said that," he chuckled.

He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat; his lips curled back
over his perfect teeth. His body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, tensed
like a lion about to pounce.

I backed away from him, glaring.

"You wouldn't."

I didn't see him leap at me ? it was much too fast. I only found myself
suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into
the wall. All the while, his arms formed an iron cage of protection
around me ? I was barely jostled. But I still was gasping as I tried to
right myself.

He wasn't having that. He curled me into a ball against his chest,
holding me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him in alarm, but
he seemed well in control, his jaw relaxed as he grinned, his eyes bright
only with humor.

"You were saying?" he growled playfully.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," I said, my sarcasm marred
a bit by my breathless voice.

"Much better," he approved.

"Um." I struggled. "Can I get up now?"

He just laughed.

"Can we come in?" a soft voice sounded from the hall.

I struggled to free myself, but Edward merely readjusted me so that I was
somewhat more conventionally seated on his lap. I could see it was Alice,
then, and Jasper behind her in the doorway. My cheeks burned, but Edward
seemed at ease.

"Go ahead." Edward was still chuckling quietly.

Alice seemed to find nothing unusual in our embrace; she walked ? almost
danced, her movements were so graceful ? to the center of the room, where
she folded herself sinuously onto the floor. Jasper, however, paused at
the door, his expression a trifle shocked. He stared at Edward's face,
and I wondered if he was tasting the atmosphere with his unusual
sensitivity.

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if
you would share," Alice announced.

I stiffened for an instant, until I realized Edward was grinning ?
whether at her comment or my response, I couldn't tell.

"Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare," he replied, his arms
holding me recklessly close.

"Actually," Jasper said, smiling despite himself as he walked into the
room, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett
wants to play ball. Are you game?"

The words were all common enough, but the context confused me. I gathered
that Alice was a bit more reliable than the weatherman, though.

Edward's eyes lit up, but he hesitated.

"Of course you should bring Bella," Alice chirped. I thought I saw Jasper
throw a quick glance at her.

"Do you want to go?" Edward asked me, excited, his expression vivid.

"Sure." I couldn't disappoint such a face. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball ? you'll see why," he promised.

"Will I need an umbrella?"

They all three laughed aloud.

"Will she?" Jasper asked Alice.

"No." She was positive. "The storm will hit over town. It should be dry
enough in the clearing."

"Good, then." The enthusiasm in Jasper's voice was catching, naturally. I
found myself eager, rather than scared stiff.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come." Alice bounded up and to the door in
a fashion that would break any ballerina's heart.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased, and they were swiftly on their way.
Jasper managed to inconspicuously close the door behind them.

"What will we be playing?" I demanded.

"You will be watching," Edward clarified. "We will be playing baseball."

I rolled my eyes. "Vampires like baseball?"

"It's the American pastime," he said with mock solemnity.

Categories: Twilight

Twilight - Chapter 17

The Game

It was just beginning to drizzle when Edward turned onto my street. Up
until that moment, I'd had no doubt that he'd be staying with me while I
spent a few interim hours in the real world.

And then I saw the black car, a weathered Ford, parked in Charlie's
driveway ? and heard Edward mutter something unintelligible in a low,
harsh voice.

Leaning away from the rain under the shallow front porch, Jacob Black
stood behind his father's wheelchair. Billy's face was impassive as stone
as Edward parked my truck against the curb. Jacob stared down, his
expression mortified.

Edward's low voice was furious. "This is crossing the line."

"He came to warn Charlie?" I guessed, more horrified than angry.

Edward just nodded, answering Billy's gaze through the rain with narrowed
eyes.

I felt weak with relief that Charlie wasn't home yet.

"Let me deal with this," I suggested. Edward's black glare made me
anxious.

To my surprise, he agreed. "That's probably best. Be careful, though. The
child has no idea."

I bridled a little at the word child. "Jacob is not that much younger
than I am," I reminded him.

He looked at me then, his anger abruptly fading. "Oh, I know," he assured
me with a grin.

I sighed and put my hand on the door handle.

"Get them inside," he instructed, "so I can leave. I'll be back around
dusk."

"Do you want my truck?" I offered, meanwhile wondering how I would
explain its absence to Charlie.

He rolled his eyes. "I could walk home faster than this truck moves."

"You don't have to leave," I said wistfully.

He smiled at my glum expression. "Actually, I do. After you get rid of
them" ? he threw a dark glance in the Blacks' direction ? "you still have
to prepare Charlie to meet your new boyfriend." He grinned widely,
showing all of his teeth.

I groaned. "Thanks a lot."

He smiled the crooked smile that I loved. "I'll be back soon," he
promised. His eyes flickered back to the porch, and then he leaned in to
swiftly kiss me just under the edge of my jaw. My heart lurched
frantically, and I, too, glanced toward the porch. Billy's face was no
longer impassive, and his hands clutched at the armrests of his chair.

"Soon," I stressed as I opened the door and stepped out into the rain.

I could feel his eyes on my back as I half-ran through the light sprinkle
toward the porch.

"Hey, Billy. Hi, Jacob." I greeted them as cheerfully as I could manage.
"Charlie's gone for the day ? I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Not long," Billy said in a subdued tone. His black eyes were piercing.
"I just wanted to bring this up." He indicated a brown paper sack resting
in his lap.

"Thanks," I said, though I had no idea what it could be. "Why don't you
come in for a minute and dry off?"

I pretended to be oblivious to his intense scrutiny as I unlocked the
door, and waved them in ahead of me.

"Here, let me take that," I offered, turning to shut the door. I allowed
myself one last glance at Edward. He was waiting, perfectly still, his
eyes solemn.

"You'll want to put it in the fridge," Billy noted as he handed me the
package. "It's some of Harry Clearwater's homemade fish fry ? Charlie's
favorite. The fridge keeps it drier." He shrugged.

"Thanks," I repeated, but with feeling this time. "I was running out of
new ways to fix fish, and he's bound to bring home more tonight."

"Fishing again?" Billy asked with a subtle gleam in his eye. "Down at the
usual spot? Maybe I'll run by and see him."

"No," I quickly lied, my face going hard. "He was headed someplace new?
but I have no idea where."

He took in my changed expression, and it made him thoughtful.

"Jake," he said, still appraising me. "Why don't you go get that new
picture of Rebecca out of the car? I'll leave that for Charlie, too."

"Where is it?" Jacob asked, his voice morose. I glanced at him, but he
was staring at the floor, his eyebrows pulling together.

"I think I saw it in the trunk," Billy said. "You may have to dig for it."

Jacob slouched back out into the rain.

Billy and I faced each other in silence. After a few seconds, the quiet
started to feel awkward, so I turned and headed to the kitchen. I could
hear his wet wheels squeak against the linoleum as he followed.

I shoved the bag onto the crowded top shelf of the fridge, and spun
around to confront him. His deeply lined face was unreadable.

"Charlie won't be back for a long time." My voice was almost rude.

He nodded in agreement, but said nothing.

"Thanks again for the fish fry," I hinted.

He continued nodding. I sighed and folded my arms across my chest.

He seemed to sense that I had given up on small talk. "Bella," he said,
and then he hesitated.

I waited.

"Bella," he said again, "Charlie is one of my best friends."

"Yes."

He spoke each word carefully in his rumbling voice. "I noticed you've
been spending time with one of the Cullens."

"Yes," I repeated curtly.

His eyes narrowed. "Maybe it's none of my business, but I don't think
that is such a good idea."

"You're right," I agreed. "It is none of your business."

He raised his graying eyebrows at my tone. "You probably don't know this,
but the Cullen family has an unpleasant reputation on the reservation."

"Actually, I did know that," I informed him in a hard voice. This
surprised him. "But that reputation couldn't be deserved, could it?
Because the Cullens never set foot on the reservation, do they?" I could
see that my less than subtle reminder of the agreement that both bound
and protected his tribe pulled him up short.

"That's true," he acceded, his eyes guarded. "You seem? well informed
about the Cullens. More informed than I expected."

I stared him down. "Maybe even better informed than you are."

He pursed his thick lips as he considered that. "Maybe." he allowed, but
his eyes were shrewd. "Is Charlie as well informed?"

He had found the weak chink in my armor.

"Charlie likes the Cullens a lot," I hedged. He clearly understood my
evasion. His expression was unhappy, but unsurprised.

"It's not my business," he said. "But it may be Charlie's."

"Though it would be my business, again, whether or not I think that it's
Charlie's business, right?"

I wondered if he even understood my confused question as I struggled not
to say anything compromising. But he seemed to. He thought about it while
the rain picked up against the roof, the only sound breaking the silence.

"Yes," he finally surrendered. "I guess that's your business, too."

I sighed with relief. "Thanks, Billy."

"Just think about what you're doing, Bella," he urged.

"Okay," I agreed quickly.

He frowned. "What I meant to say was, don't do what you're doing."

I looked into his eyes, filled with nothing but concern for me, and there
was nothing I could say.

Just then the front door banged loudly, and I jumped at the sound.

"There's no picture anywhere in that car." Jacob's complaining voice
reached us before he did. The shoulders of his shirt were stained with
the rain, his hair dripping, when he rounded the corner.

"Hmm," Billy grunted, suddenly detached, spinning his chair around to
face his son. "I guess I left it at home."

Jacob rolled his eyes dramatically. "Great."

"Well, Bella, tell Charlie" ? Billy paused before continuing ? "that we
stopped by, I mean."

"I will," I muttered.

Jacob was surprised. "Are we leaving already?"

"Charlie's gonna be out late," Billy explained as he rolled himself past
Jacob.

"Oh." Jacob looked disappointed. "Well, I guess I'll see you later, then,
Bella."

"Sure," I agreed.

"Take care," Billy warned me. I didn't answer.

Jacob helped his father out the door. I waved briefly, glancing swiftly
toward my now-empty truck, and then shut the door before they were gone.

I stood in the hallway for a minute, listening to the sound of their car
as it backed out and drove away. I stayed where I was, waiting for the
irritation and anxiety to subside. When the tension eventually faded a
bit, I headed upstairs to change out of my dressy clothes.

I tried on a couple of different tops, not sure what to expect tonight.
As I concentrated on what was coming, what had just passed became
insignificant. Now that I was removed from Jasper's and Edward's
influence, I began to make up for not being terrified before. I gave up
quickly on choosing an outfit ? throwing on an old flannel shirt and
jeans ? knowing I would be in my raincoat all night anyway.

The phone rang and I sprinted downstairs to get it. There was only one
voice I wanted to hear; anything else would be a disappointment. But I
knew that if he wanted to talk to me, he'd probably just materialize in
my room.

"Hello?" I asked, breathless.

"Bella? It's me," Jessica said.

"Oh, hey, Jess." I scrambled for a moment to come back down to reality.
It felt like months rather than days since I'd spoken to Jess. "How was
the dance?"

"It was so much fun!" Jessica gushed. Needing no more invitation than
that, she launched into a minute-by-minute account of the previous night.
I mmm'd and ahh'd at the right places, but it wasn't easy to concentrate.
Jessica, Mike, the dance, the school ? they all seemed strangely
irrelevant at the moment. My eyes kept flashing to the window, trying to
judge the degree of light behind the heavy clouds.

"Did you hear what I said, Bella?" Jess asked, irritated.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, Mike kissed me! Can you believe it?"

"That's wonderful, Jess," I said.

"So what did you do yesterday?" Jessica challenged, still sounding
bothered by my lack of attention. Or maybe she was upset because I hadn't
asked for details.

"Nothing, really. I just hung around outside to enjoy the sun."

I heard Charlie's car in the garage.

"Did you ever hear anything more from Edward Cullen?"

The front door slammed and I could hear Charlie banging around under the
stairs, putting his tackle away.

"Um." I hesitated, not sure what my story was anymore.

"Hi there, kiddo!" Charlie called as he walked into the kitchen. I waved
at him.

Jess heard his voice. "Oh, your dad's there. Never mind ? we'll talk
tomorrow. See you in Trig."

"See ya, Jess." I hung up the phone.

"Hey, Dad," I said. He was scrubbing his hands in the sink. "Where's the
fish?"

"I put it out in the freezer."

"I'll go grab a few pieces before they freeze ? Billy dropped off some of
Harry Clearwater's fish fry this afternoon." I worked to sound
enthusiastic.

"He did?" Charlie's eyes lit up. "That's my favorite."

Charlie cleaned up while I got dinner ready. It didn't take long till we
were sitting at the table, eating in silence. Charlie was enjoying his
food. I was wondering desperately how to fulfill my assignment,
struggling to think of a way to broach the subject.

"What did you do with yourself today?" he asked, snapping me out of my
reverie.

"Well, this afternoon I just hung out around the house?" Only the very
recent part of this afternoon, actually. I tried to keep my voice upbeat,
but my stomach was hollow. "And this morning I was over at the Cullens'."

Charlie dropped his fork.

"Dr. Cullen's place?" he asked in astonishment.

I pretended not to notice his reaction. "Yeah."

"What were you doing there?" He hadn't picked his fork back up.

"Well, I sort of have a date with Edward Cullen tonight, and he wanted to
introduce me to his parents? Dad?"

It appeared that Charlie was having an aneurysm.

"Dad, are you all right?"

"You are going out with Edward Cullen?" he thundered.

Uh-oh. "I thought you liked the Cullens."

"He's too old for you," he ranted.

"We're both juniors," I corrected, though he was more right than he
dreamed.

"Wait?" He paused. "Which one is Edwin?"

"Edward is the youngest, the one with the reddish brown hair." The
beautiful one, the godlike one?

"Oh, well, that's" ? he struggled ? "better, I guess. I don't like the
look of that big one. I'm sure he's a nice boy and all, but he looks too?
mature for you. Is this Edwin your boyfriend?"

"It's Edward, Dad."

"Is he?"

"Sort of, I guess."

"You said last night that you weren't interested in any of the boys in
town." But he picked up his fork again, so I could see the worst was over.

"Well, Edward doesn't live in town, Dad."

He gave me a disparaging look as he chewed.

"And, anyways," I continued, "it's kind of at an early stage, you know.
Don't embarrass me with all the boyfriend talk, okay?"

"When is he coming over?"

"He'll be here in a few minutes."

"Where is he taking you?"

I groaned loudly. "I hope you're getting the Spanish Inquisition out of
your system now. We're going to play baseball with his family."

His face puckered, and then he finally chuckled. "You're playing
baseball?"

"Well, I'll probably watch most of the time."

"You must really like this guy," he observed suspiciously.

I sighed and rolled my eyes for his benefit.

I heard the roar of an engine pull up in front of the house. I jumped up
and started cleaning my dishes.

"Leave the dishes, I can do them tonight. You baby me too much."

The doorbell rang, and Charlie stalked off to answer it. I was half a
step behind him.

I hadn't realized how hard it was pouring outside. Edward stood in the
halo of the porch light, looking like a male model in an advertisement
for raincoats.

"Come on in, Edward."

I breathed a sigh of relief when Charlie got his name right.

"Thanks, Chief Swan," Edward said in a respectful voice.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here, I'll take your jacket."

"Thanks, sir."

"Have a seat there, Edward."

I grimaced.

Edward sat down fluidly in the only chair, forcing me to sit next to
Chief Swan on the sofa. I quickly shot him a dirty look. He winked behind
Charlie's back.

"So I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball." Only in Washington
would the fact that it was raining buckets have no bearing at all on the
playing of outdoor sports.

"Yes, sir, that's the plan." He didn't look surprised that I'd told my
father the truth. He might have been listening, though.

"Well, more power to you, I guess."

Charlie laughed, and Edward joined in.

"Okay." I stood up. "Enough humor at my expense. Let's go." I walked back
to the hall and pulled on my jacket. They followed.

"Not too late, Bell."

"Don't worry, Charlie, I'll have her home early," Edward promised.

"You take care of my girl, all right?"

I groaned, but they ignored me.

"She'll be safe with me, I promise, sir."

Charlie couldn't doubt Edward's sincerity, it rang in every word.

I stalked out. They both laughed, and Edward followed me.

I stopped dead on the porch. There, behind my truck, was a monster Jeep.
Its tires were higher than my waist. There were metal guards over the
headlights and tail-lights, and four large spotlights attached to the
crash bar. The hardtop was shiny red.

Charlie let out a low whistle.

"Wear your seat belts," he choked out.

Edward followed me around to my side and opened the door. I gauged the
distance to the seat and prepared to jump for it. He sighed, and then
lifted me in with one hand. I hoped Charlie didn't notice.

As he went around to the driver's side, at a normal, human pace, I tried
to put on my seat belt. But there were too many buckles.

"What's all this?" I asked when he opened the door.

"It's an off-roading harness."

"Uh-oh."

I tried to find the right places for all the buckles to fit, but it
wasn't going too quickly. He sighed again and reached over to help me. I
was glad that the rain was too heavy to see Charlie clearly on the porch.
That meant he couldn't see how Edward's hands lingered at my neck,
brushed along my collarbones. I gave up trying to help him and focused on
not hyperventilating.

Edward turned the key and the engine roared to life. We pulled away from
the house.

"This is a? um? big Jeep you have."

"It's Emmett's. I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way."

"Where do you keep this thing?"

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage."

"Aren't you going to put on your seat belt?"

He threw me a disbelieving look.

Then something sunk in.

"Run the whole way? As in, we're still going to run part of the way?" My
voice edged up a few octaves.

He grinned tightly. "You're not going to run."

"I'm going to be sick."

"Keep your eyes closed, you'll be fine."

I bit my lip, fighting the panic.

He leaned over to kiss the top of my head, and then groaned. I looked at
him, puzzled.

"You smell so good in the rain," he explained.

"In a good way, or in a bad way?" I asked cautiously.

He sighed. "Both, always both."

I don't know how he found his way in the gloom and downpour, but he
somehow found a side road that was less of a road and more of a mountain
path. For a long while conversation was impossible, because I was
bouncing up and down on the seat like a jackhammer. He seemed to enjoy
the ride, though, smiling hugely the whole way.

And then we came to the end of the road; the trees formed green walls on
three sides of the Jeep. The rain was a mere drizzle, slowing every
second, the sky brighter through the clouds.

"Sorry, Bella, we have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here."

"What happened to all your courage? You were extraordinary this morning."

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet." Could it have been only
yesterday?

He was around to my side of the car in a blur. He started unbuckling me.

"I'll get those, you go on ahead," I protested.

"Hmmm?" he mused as he quickly finished. "It seems I'm going to have to
tamper with your memory."

Before I could react, he pulled me from the Jeep and set my feet on the
ground. It was barely misting now; Alice was going to be right.

"Tamper with my memory?" I asked nervously.

"Something like that." He was watching me intently, carefully, but there
was humor deep in his eyes. He placed his hands against the Jeep on
either side of my head and leaned forward, forcing me to press back
against the door. He leaned in even closer, his face inches from mine. I
had no room to escape.

"Now," he breathed, and just his smell disturbed my thought processes,
"what exactly are you worrying about?"

"Well, um, hitting a tree ?" I gulped "? and dying. And then getting
sick."

He fought back a smile. Then he bent his head down and touched his cold
lips softly to the hollow at the base of my throat.

"Are you still worried now?" he murmured against my skin.

"Yes." I struggled to concentrate. "About hitting trees and getting sick."

His nose drew a line up the skin of my throat to the point of my chin.
His cold breath tickled my skin.

"And now?" His lips whispered against my jaw.

"Trees," I gasped. "Motion sickness."

He lifted his face to kiss my eyelids. "Bella, you don't really think I
would hit a tree, do you?"

"No, but I might." There was no confidence in my voice. He smelled an
easy victory.

He kissed slowly down my cheek, stopping just at the corner of my mouth.

"Would I let a tree hurt you?" His lips barely brushed against my
trembling lower lip.

"No," I breathed. I knew there was a second part to my brilliant defense,
but I couldn't quite call it back.

"You see," he said, his lips moving against mine. "There's nothing to be
afraid of, is there?"

"No," I sighed, giving up.

Then he took my face in his hands almost roughly, and kissed me in
earnest, his unyielding lips moving against mine.

There really was no excuse for my behavior. Obviously I knew better by
now. And yet I couldn't seem to stop from reacting exactly as I had the
first time. Instead of keeping safely motionless, my arms reached up to
twine tightly around his neck, and I was suddenly welded to his stone
figure. I sighed, and my lips parted.

He staggered back, breaking my grip effortlessly.

"Damn it, Bella!" he broke off, gasping. "You'll be the death of me, I
swear you will."

I leaned over, bracing my hands against my knees for support.

"You're indestructible," I mumbled, trying to catch my breath.

"I might have believed that before I met you. Now let's get out of here
before I do something really stupid," he growled.

He threw me across his back as he had before, and I could see the extra
effort it took for him to be as gentle as he was. I locked my legs around
his waist and secured my arms in a choke hold around his neck.

"Don't forget to close your eyes," he warned severely.

I quickly tucked my face into his shoulder blade, under my own arm, and
squeezed my eyes shut.

And I could hardly tell we were moving. I could feel him gliding along
beneath me, but he could have been strolling down the sidewalk, the
movement was so smooth. I was tempted to peek, just to see if he was
really flying through the forest like before, but I resisted. It wasn't
worth that awful dizziness. I contented myself with listening to his
breath come and go evenly.

I wasn't quite sure we had stopped until he reached back and touched my
hair.

"It's over, Bella."

I dared to open my eyes, and, sure enough, we were at a standstill. I
stiffly unlocked my stranglehold on his body and slipped to the ground,
landing on my backside.

"Oh!" I huffed as I hit the wet ground.

He stared at me incredulously, evidently not sure whether he was still
too mad to find me funny. But my bewildered expression pushed him over
the edge, and he broke into a roar of laughter.

I picked myself up, ignoring him as I brushed the mud and bracken off the
back of my jacket. That only made him laugh harder. Annoyed, I began to
stride off into the forest.

I felt his arm around my waist.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"To watch a baseball game. You don't seem to be interested in playing
anymore, but I'm sure the others will have fun without you."

"You're going the wrong way."

I turned around without looking at him, and stalked off in the opposite
direction. He caught me again.

"Don't be mad, I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face."
He chuckled before he could stop himself.

"Oh, you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?" I asked, raising my
eyebrows.

"I wasn't mad at you."

"'Bella, you'll be the death of me'?" I quoted sourly.

"That was simply a statement of fact."

I tried to turn away from him again, but he held me fast.

"You were mad," I insisted.

"Yes."

"But you just said ?"

"That I wasn't mad at you. Can't you see that, Bella?" He was suddenly
intense, all trace of teasing gone. "Don't you understand?"

"See what?" I demanded, confused by his sudden mood swing as much as his
words.

"I'm never angry with you ? how could I be? Brave, trusting? warm as you
are."

"Then why?" I whispered, remembering the black moods that pulled him away
from me, that I'd always interpreted as well-justified frustration ?
frustration at my weakness, my slowness, my unruly human reactions?

He put his hands carefully on both sides of my face. "I infuriate
myself," he said gently. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you
in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate
myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to ?"

I placed my hand over his mouth. "Don't."

He took my hand, moving it from his lips, but holding it to his face.

"I love you," he said. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's
still true."

It was the first time he'd said he loved me ? in so many words. He might
not realize it, but I certainly did.

"Now, please try to behave yourself," he continued, and he bent to softly
brush his lips against mine.

I held properly still. Then I sighed.

"You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember?
We'd better get going."

"Yes, ma'am."

He smiled wistfully and released all of me but one hand. He led me a few
feet through the tall, wet ferns and draping moss, around a massive
hemlock tree, and we were there, on the edge of an enormous open field in
the lap of the Olympic peaks. It was twice the size of any baseball
stadium.

I could see the others all there; Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie, sitting on a
bare outcropping of rock, were the closest to us, maybe a hundred yards
away. Much farther out I could see Jasper and Alice, at least a quarter
of a mile apart, appearing to throw something back and forth, but I never
saw any ball. It looked like Carlisle was marking bases, but could they
really be that far apart?

When we came into view, the three on the rocks rose.

Esme started toward us. Emmett followed after a long look at Rosalie's
back; Rosalie had risen gracefully and strode off toward the field
without a glance in our direction. My stomach quivered uneasily in
response.

"Was that you we heard, Edward?" Esme asked as she approached.

"It sounded like a bear choking," Emmett clarified.

I smiled hesitantly at Esme. "That was him."

"Bella was being unintentionally funny," Edward explained, quickly
settling the score.

Alice had left her position and was running, or dancing, toward us. She
hurtled to a fluid stop at our feet. "It's time," she announced.

As soon as she spoke, a deep rumble of thunder shook the forest beyond
us, and then crashed westward toward town.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett said with easy familiarity, winking at me.

"Let's go." Alice reached for Emmett's hand and they darted toward the
oversized field; she ran like a gazelle. He was nearly as graceful and
just as fast ? yet Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle.

"Are you ready for some ball?" Edward asked, his eyes eager, bright.

I tried to sound appropriately enthusiastic. "Go team!"

He snickered and, after mussing my hair, bounded off after the other two.
His run was more aggressive, a cheetah rather than a gazelle, and he
quickly overtook them. The grace and power took my breath away.

"Shall we go down?" Esme asked in her soft, melodic voice, and I realized
I was staring openmouthed after him. I quickly reassembled my expression
and nodded. Esme kept a few feet between us, and I wondered if she was
still being careful not to frighten me. She matched her stride to mine
without seeming impatient at the pace.

"You don't play with them?" I asked shyly.

"No, I prefer to referee ? I like keeping them honest," she explained.

"Do they like to cheat, then?"

"Oh yes ? you should hear the arguments they get into! Actually, I hope
you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves."

"You sound like my mom," I laughed, surprised.

She laughed, too. "Well, I do think of them as my children in most ways.
I never could get over my mothering instincts ? did Edward tell you I had
lost a child?"

"No," I murmured, stunned, scrambling to understand what lifetime she was
remembering.

"Yes, my first and only baby. He died just a few days after he was born,
the poor tiny thing," she sighed. "It broke my heart ? that's why I
jumped off the cliff, you know," she added matter-of-factly.

"Edward just said you f-fell," I stammered.

"Always the gentleman." She smiled. "Edward was the first of my new sons.
I've always thought of him that way, even though he's older than I, in
one way at least." She smiled at me warmly. "That's why I'm so happy that
he's found you, dear." The endearment sounded very natural on her lips.
"He's been the odd man out for far too long; it's hurt me to see him
alone."

"You don't mind, then?" I asked, hesitant again. "That I'm? all wrong for
him?"

"No." She was thoughtful. "You're what he wants. It will work out,
somehow," she said, though her forehead creased with worry. Another peal
of thunder began.

Esme stopped then; apparently, we'd reached the edge of the field. It
looked as if they had formed teams. Edward was far out in left field,
Carlisle stood between the first and second bases, and Alice held the
ball, positioned on the spot that must be the pitcher's mound.

Emmett was swinging an aluminum bat; it whistled almost untraceably
through the air. I waited for him to approach home plate, but then I
realized, as he took his stance, that he was already there ? farther from
the pitcher's mound than I would have thought possible. Jasper stood
several feet behind him, catching for the other team. Of course, none of
them had gloves.

"All right," Esme called in a clear voice, which I knew even Edward would
hear, as far out as he was. "Batter up."

Alice stood straight, deceptively motionless. Her style seemed to be
stealth rather than an intimidating windup. She held the ball in both
hands at her waist, and then, like the strike of a cobra, her right hand
flicked out and the ball smacked into Jasper's hand.

"Was that a strike?" I whispered to Esme.

"If they don't hit it, it's a strike," she told me.

Jasper hurled the ball back to Alice's waiting hand. She permitted
herself a brief grin. And then her hand spun out again.

This time the bat somehow made it around in time to smash into the
invisible ball. The crack of impact was shattering, thunderous; it echoed
off the mountains ? I immediately understood the necessity of the
thunderstorm.

The ball shot like a meteor above the field, flying deep into the
surrounding forest.

"Home run," I murmured.

"Wait," Esme cautioned, listening intently, one hand raised. Emmett was a
blur around the bases, Carlisle shadowing him. I realized Edward was
missing.

"Out!" Esme cried in a clear voice. I stared in disbelief as Edward
sprang from the fringe of the trees, ball in his upraised hand, his wide
grin visible even to me.

"Emmett hits the hardest," Esme explained, "but Edward runs the fastest."

The inning continued before my incredulous eyes. It was impossible to
keep up with the speed at which the ball flew, the rate at which their
bodies raced around the field.

I learned the other reason they waited for a thunderstorm to play when
Jasper, trying to avoid Edward's infallible fielding, hit a ground ball
toward Carlisle. Carlisle ran into the ball, and then raced Jasper to
first base. When they collided, the sound was like the crash of two
massive falling boulders. I jumped up in concern, but they were somehow
unscathed.

"Safe," Esme called in a calm voice.

Emmett's team was up by one ? Rosalie managed to flit around the bases
after tagging up on one of Emmett's long flies ? when Edward caught the
third out. He sprinted to my side, sparkling with excitement.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major
League Baseball again."

"And it sounds like you did so much of that before," he laughed.

"I am a little disappointed," I teased.

"Why?" he asked, puzzled.

"Well, it would be nice if I could find just one thing you didn't do
better than everyone else on the planet."

He flashed his special crooked smile, leaving me breathless.

"I'm up," he said, heading for the plate.

He played intelligently, keeping the ball low, out of the reach of
Rosalie's always-ready hand in the outfield, gaining two bases like
lightning before Emmett could get the ball back in play. Carlisle knocked
one so far out of the field ? with a boom that hurt my ears ? that he and
Edward both made it in. Alice slapped them dainty high fives.

The score constantly changed as the game continued, and they razzed each
other like any street ballplayers as they took turns with the lead.
Occasionally Esme would call them to order. The thunder rumbled on, but
we stayed dry, as Alice had predicted.

Carlisle was up to bat, Edward catching, when Alice suddenly gasped. My
eyes were on Edward, as usual, and I saw his head snap up to look at her.
Their eyes met and something flowed between them in an instant. He was at
my side before the others could ask Alice what was wrong.

"Alice?" Esme's voice was tense.

"I didn't see ? I couldn't tell," she whispered.

All the others were gathered by this time.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked with the calm voice of authority.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the
perspective wrong before," she murmured.

Jasper leaned over her, his posture protective. "What changed?" he asked.

"They heard us playing, and it changed their path," she said, contrite,
as if she felt responsible for whatever had frightened her.

Seven pairs of quick eyes flashed to my face and away.

"How soon?" Carlisle said, turning toward Edward.

A look of intense concentration crossed his face.

"Less than five minutes. They're running ? they want to play." He scowled.

"Can you make it?" Carlisle asked him, his eyes flicking toward me again.

"No, not carrying ?" He cut short. "Besides, the last thing we need is
for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked Alice.

"Three," she answered tersely.

"Three!" he scoffed. "Let them come." The steel bands of muscle flexed
along his massive arms.

For a split second that seemed much longer than it really was, Carlisle
deliberated. Only Emmett seemed unperturbed; the rest stared at
Carlisle's face with anxious eyes.

"Let's just continue the game," Carlisle finally decided. His voice was
cool and level. "Alice said they were simply curious."

All this was said in a flurry of words that lasted only a few seconds. I
had listened carefully and caught most of it, though I couldn't hear what
Esme now asked Edward with a silent vibration of her lips. I only saw the
slight shake of his head and the look of relief on her face.

"You catch, Esme," he said. "I'll call it now." And he planted himself in
front of me.

The others returned to the field, warily sweeping the dark forest with
their sharp eyes. Alice and Esme seemed to orient themselves around where
I stood.

"Take your hair down," Edward said in a low, even voice.

I obediently slid the rubber band out of my hair and shook it out around
me.

I stated the obvious. "The others are coming now."

"Yes, stay very still, keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please."
He hid the stress in his voice well, but I could hear it. He pulled my
long hair forward, around my face.

"That won't help," Alice said softly. "I could smell her across the
field."

"I know." A hint of frustration colored his tone.

Carlisle stood at the plate, and the others joined the game halfheartedly.

"What did Esme ask you?" I whispered.

He hesitated for a second before he answered. "Whether they were
thirsty," he muttered unwillingly.

The seconds ticked by; the game progressed with apathy now. No one dared
to hit harder than a bunt, and Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper hovered in the
infield. Now and again, despite the fear that numbed my brain, I was
aware of Rosalie's eyes on me. They were expressionless, but something
about the way she held her mouth made me think she was angry.

Edward paid no attention to the game at all, eyes and mind ranging the
forest.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he muttered fiercely. "It was stupid, irresponsible,
to expose you like this. I'm so sorry."

I heard his breath stop, and his eyes zeroed in on right field. He took a
half step, angling himself between me and what was coming.

Carlisle, Emmett, and the others turned in the same direction, hearing
sounds of passage much too faint for my ears.

Categories: Twilight